So you wanna know about “anger issues” when dealing with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis? This question caused me to go back into my blog post’s and find this post. I knew I MUST have written about it SOMEwhere. I did…and it’s a joke. “To Not Unravel”, clearly, it was early on in my blogging and I hadn’t come to terms yet with how “politically correct” to be. Well, I’m over THAT! How bout ” Falling the Fuck Apart”.
First Christmas as a new Mom, Ho, Ho, Ho.
When first diagnosed I was cool, but about four years into it, I became a beast. As my husband would say, “A PitViper”. I was unbearable…even to myself. I had no idea it was my MS. I thought I was just exhausted (I now know, THAT WAS MY MS) I had two small children though, and I thought it was just life, not MS. That was until one day I noticed my brain was boiling. I sat down on a footstool in the kitchen and called my sister-in-law, the nurse. (What the hell was I thinking; I should’ve had my Neurologist on speed-dial) She told me to eat some bread and take some ibuprofen. I did that and went into a quiet room to meditate. The boiling feeling stopped.
Now that I’m twenty years into it, I realize “Hindsight truly is 20/20”! That wasn’t the first time I had noticed the “boiling” sensation and I NEVER mentioned it to my Neurologist but, I did recognize that this problem was:
- Physiological
- In my brain (where I now understand much more about the presence of lesions)
- Something that I could stop, with the right tools, knowledge, and sometimes drugs.
The doctor that I DID go to about this was my Psychologist. Yes, it was MS related. Although I didn’t know that at the time, what I did know was that I had to have someone to talk to about it. That someone had to have enough skill (and sense) to know that, I wasn’t crazy. She listened (once a week) and then threw me headfirst into “Mindfulness Meditation”. That is what saved me.
Is this the face of a PitViper?
I started with the book “Full Catastrophe Living” by John Kabat Zinn.
JUST DO IT, and remember these things:
- Regardless of what anyone else thinks, you are not a bitch (or bastard)
- You are still be a good mom, dad, daughter , sister, or brother.
- The MOST important thing in MS is that you’ve GOT to take care of yourself…”By Any Means Necessary”.
COMMENTS:
Have you experienced anger issues with MS or any other Illness?
Have you come to manage it, and if so…how?
